Thursday, November 19, 2009

External locus of control

You would think by this point in life that I would have be able to control myself. I can in so many areas. I pay my bills on time. I exercise regularly. My personal hygiene is good. I don't say everything that crosses my mind. I clean up after myself. I take care of our pets.And on and on and on. In other words, I am a mature, responsible adult. However, there is one area where I continually, consistently can't control myself: food and as a result weight. Despite my mental resolve to loose more weight before the end of the year, I have instead gained about seven pounds since we moved here.

I know all the rules about intake and output. I know what foods I should avoid. I know about portion control. I know to eat more slowly. I know that I should eat lots of fruit and vegetables. I know all this, but do I do it? My scales and tighter jeans say no. Because my weight is not just a vanity issue and has a direct bearing on my health, I am headed back to Weight Watchers. I will pay someone so that I can go in each week and be weighed under their eyes. Perhaps someday I will have internalized the ability to weigh myself and alter my habits when the scales start moving up.

Someday....